An exciting message today from my Angels ❤

During a car journey early today, I got a beautiful black feather float in and land on my lap!  Finding this message is just what I needed to hear and so in synchronicity with how I am feeling.

I really must get disciplined with my yoga and daily meditation, because I’m ready to open up!  ❤

Self Innovation is a Must ❤ I AM not giving up!

Today I am feeling really positive about my future, and have been planning my return to University.  The rollercoaster ride of a spiritual awakening all got a bit too much, with panic attacks bringing me to my knees, finally halting my final year of study after only a few weeks.  This time a few months ago I literally had no intention of returning to complete my degree.  I am well aware that education is a notch on the big wheel of corporate enslavement, but I am already way into that trap so there is no way out for me now LOL!

Solitude has been a huge blessing to me during the past year.  Taking the time and patience to explore who I AM, and discover my passions in life has been the most important thing to ever bless my existence. By reprogramming myself with positive knowledge only, (no teLIEvision here!) and following my passions in life, I have allowed myself time to start healing.  I have ventured into areas I would have previously been too ashamed to show an interest in, and have loved it so much that I have even gained some qualifications.   I am in debt anyway with student finance, definitely a decision I would not take if the clocks would turn back.  However it is what it is, so I may as well complete a few more months and have a decent qualification to show for it. 

September I will return with a fresh eager head, to study the following modules for my Business Management degree:

  • Strategic Management
  • Strategic Marketing 
  • Leading and Managing Change
  • Advanced Management
  • And my final Dissertation – topic currently unknown.

I AM holding onto the faith that as long as I show hard word and dedication to my final year, the universe will light up the path I should walk.  My body is becoming good at picking up on subtle energies and my intuition is ever growing, so I must now learn to incorporate these new layers into my ‘normal’ reality, when making important life decisions, and trust that this inner wisdom will guide me. 

I will get a good job to support myself and my two babies, but will ensure that I seek an employer whose values align my own.  It is not all about money and big corporations to me! My dream would be to one day work for myself as a healer offering: crystal healing, Reiki and Seichem healing, Meditation assistance and Tarot readings.  Being realistic though I know that I will need to start these part time, so will need to get back to reality and dive back into the big wide world of employment in order to support my family once I graduate next year! 

Does anyone have any advice on completing studies, whist going through the transformation of a spiritual awakening????   

My initial awakening that removed the veil of illusion has thankfully settled, but not until my whole concept of truth and reality had been shattered.  It’s taken me a good year or so to settle down and for a little while there I really did think I was going insane.  I am now in the process of learning to intergrate and control my energies so that I can communicate with people in public without letting anxiety and panic take over me.  I have 10 more weeks to work on settling and centring myself before my first lecture.  
BOOOOM bring it on!!! 😝

Do We Need a Soul Family or Can We Walk the path ALONE?

Wow I am in a real confusing place at the moment, with whirling mixed emotions just under the surface. The realisation that I have finally grown up and expanded my consciousness by miles, makes me very proud of myself! However, the more my self respect grows and I learn to speak my truth and set boundaries, people are dropping around me like flies.

My life used to be full of people, mostly those that would take my kindness for weakness. And the sad thing is that deep down inside of me, in my gut, I knew this but continued to allow myself to be a doormat. Looking back now I see how my throat and sacral chakras knotted up and reacted, when my soul inside would scream for me to stand up for myself. Years worth of that suppressed energy built up in me, which I ultimately believe was a massive contributor towards my depression and anxiety conditions.

Part of me worries that I will never meet new people that understand and accept me, but the better part of me is saying “you can never be lonely, now that you have found yourself”. I come from a family and environment, totally not open to spirituality in any way at all. Initially my family (Mum and sisters) were worried that I was going insane, but now they can just see that I have changed for the better. They have almost got their heads around the fact that I will no longer participate in ANY family arguements, although it is very difficult at times to not get sucked into their never ending dramas, especially when it’s people and things so near and dear to my heart. The only way for me at the moment is to pull back, and to retreat into myself to try any find some peace. I love my family so so much but I had to take the bold steps making me appear selfish to them, by setting new boundaries, which they have never before been used to. People find it very shocking, and you can see the reaction of shock in their faces, when you finally start standing up for yourself.

Friends are currently not in existence, and I suppose maybe I am feeling it more because I deleted Facebook and Instagram last week. My ego is clearly missing the regular social media boost by likes and shares hehe 😂. The old me would fall apart at the thought of being alone, or not liked by people. I hated myself so deeply that I didn’t even know who I was, I had never known who I was! Its actually nuts that I can say that but it’s the honest truth. I was a lost little girl, who desperately searched and searched for something or someone to feel a deep dark void within her. Just thinking about what I allowed to happen to me, by different people and myself, over the years make me feel very ashamed and upset. The lil I feel sorry for myself narrative is slipping back into my head! I am aware though, so I smile through the tears!

My life is consumed with my two beautiful children, who are 15 and 12, my dog, my two cats and fish. I am getting ready to return to my third year of a university Business Management degree in September, and have recently completed practitioner courses in: Reiki and Seichem healing, crystal healing, and meditation. However my anxiety and agoraphobia tendancies have held me back from practicing on people. I have been working on myself and weaned myself from anti depressants, however I am slyly concerned that I will never bounce back from this period of solitude.

Since beginning my spiritual path and the deeper I go, the harder it is for me to relate to people that are still asleep sheeple. Especially when it relates to anger over War. Wow I really have to pull away from all of that, it literally drains me emotionally and spiritually. I’ve removed live TV and news from my household and now I have to tell people to leave that type of convo out of my energy field, especially if it involves angry egos.

For once in my life I feel that I need nobodies approval, only that of my own heart and soul ❤ I enjoy endless hours of being alone, meditating or watching documentaries and lectures to expand my consciousness. Silence sounds amazing to me now, and I love the sounds of nature calling out to me. I must keep the faith that one day I will fulfill my purpose on earth to help heal. And that the universe will bring me the right people for me, at the right time. Maybe it’s my karma and destiny to be in solitude…

Only the Universe knows 😍

Time will tell!

You are not alone!!! ❤

To anybody out there who is struggling lately, this is just to say hang on in there!!! This phase shall pass and things will seem brighter soon, have faith in that!!!

I feel your pain and have been feeling very emotional and depressed for the past month or so.  A lot of issues that I thought were resolved keep springing up in my mind and I am putting that down to all the retrograde activity going on up above. 

We must be patient with ourselves and allow ourselves to feel these uncomfortable feelings, without suppressing them in any way.  This is the only way to work though them so that they can finally purge.  Try to get some you time and allow yourself to be lazy with it, cry if you need to and journaling the shit out of it helps. 

During last week the following videos have helped me so somebody out there may find useful ❤ I have also self treated myself with Reiki & Seichem energies. 

Binaural beats: 4.5 HZ Stress Relief – Balance your Mind – Heal your Energy.
Is it at all possible to get myself out of depression, sadness, danger and loneliness?
Dark Night of The Soul (5 Tips of getting through it)
Dark Nights of The Soul
Stop Negative Thinking: Powerful Affirmations. Positive Energy. Overcome Negative Patterns.
I love you all and you are not alone.

Namaste ❤